Man attacks Latvian letter 'Ī', winds up in hospital

Take note – story published 3 years ago

If further proof was needed that mastering the Latvian language is no easy matter, it is now available courtesy of a drunken hooligan who came off second best in a clash with a letter of the alphabet.

On the night of September 24, Rīga Municipal Police cameras spotted a man standing on the Freedom Monument, widely regarded as the most revered spot in all of Latvia, and burning some papers on it. It is against the law to do such things at the Freedom Monument and might be thought of as equivalent to doing the same thing at the Lincoln Memorial or under the Arc de Triomphe.

Police caught the firesetting fool as he attempted to flee and explained to him in Russian that torching documents was something to be done at home, or in the back yard, but not at the Freedom Monument. He was also informed that he faced a 1,000 euro fine for petty hooliganism.

Unfortunately, even this was not enough to persuade the man to turn from the path of destruction. Two hours later he was back at the Freedom Monument and attempting to vandalize a large sign saying 'Rīga', which is a popular site for selfies and photographs including, as it turned out, the cameras of Rīga Municipal Police, which captured the glorious moment when he tried to pull over the letter 'Ī', only for it (or more precisely the macron symbol on top of it) to come toppling onto his head and render him as flat as an underscore.

Police again apprehended the linguistically challenged individual and sent him to hospital for good measure, presumably so doctors could keep an 'Ī' on him in case he was suffering a macroncussion.

 

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