Footage from CCTV cameras and Riga Municipal Police shows the two bearded tourists celebrating someone's impending marriage with a spot of vandalism on the night of April 11.
The dim-witted drunken duo are shown attacking the gates of a school for reasons they are probably incapable of enunciating, before fleeing the scene and cowering in a stairwell.
Cops quickly tracked them down and despite their pathetic protestations of innocence they were given a free ride to the station by state Police.
In fact, as the footage below shows, the arresting officer appears to speak considerably better English than the gate-hating Britons.
"Look at me, do I look like a type of criminal?" asks one of the malefactors.
"Yes," replies the police officer with perfect timing.
You can read our previous advice to stage parties HERE but it basically boils down to: "Is that how your mother brought you up to behave?"