Watch: Riga police's criminal record

Rapping about the police is as old as the genre itself, but the venerable traditions of the Sugar Hill Gang, N.W.A. and Public Enemy were cruelly usurped March 8 with the release of a Latvian rap song that really has to be seen and heard to be believed. 

At a press conference, the collaboration called 'Policists' (policeman) between singing police officer Nikolajs Puzikovs and a rap duo called 'Olas' (Eggs) was released from custody into an unsuspecting public.

The song features rhyming couplets to the effect that a career in the police force is an admirable ambition, more to be encouraged than scoffed at, and that police officers themselves are only too happy oblige with a cheery imposition of The Law upon request.

Backing up that message, Constable Puzikovs and Eggs are shown in the video enjoying a typical day in the life of a Riga municipal police officer, to whit: waving semi-automatic weapons around in a carefree manner, patting down shapely ladies in underground car parks and generally disregarding standard police investigative procedures.

Reassuringly the Uzi machine pistol brandished at one point is unlikely to "weigh a ton", as it is clearly made of plastic.

As sponsorship is provided by XL, manufacturer of a high-sugar caffeine drink aimed squarely at raising the blood sugar levels of the youth market, the crimefighting trio can also be seen quaffing significant amounts of said beverage in order to lubricate their vocal exhortations.

Here is Exhibit A.

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The song is being used to promote Riga municipal police's dedicated 'app', which allows members of the public to summon assistance from cops without having to look up from their cellphones.

Though the lyrics state police officers would be happy even to remove a spider from the ceiling of a concerned citizen, they should not be taken literally, Riga police chief Juris Lukass testified to reporters.

The text should be taken more to mean that police officers should be seen as friends rather than a threat, Lukass said.

Arguably, the same could be said for spiders.

Olas are no strangers to raging in favor of the machine, having previously fronted a national advertising campaign encouraging people to pay their taxes promptly, backed by MC Finance Ministry on the turntables.

Tax evasion remains a serious problem in Latvia despite their best efforts, with the sight of Olas' faces on bus shelters across the country apparently doing little to shrink the gray economy.

However, it would provide a suitable model of justice if 'Policists' is a smash hit, then Olas neglect to pay a proper proportion of the royalties to the state budget, thus enabling Officer Puzikovs to arrest them.

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