Drunk driver blubs, asks police for cigarette, as Mama's car goes up in smoke

Take note – story published 1 year ago

Rīga's Municipal Police force has released an absolute Hollywood blockbuster of a new video. With a car chase, stunts, crime, an explosion and a main protagonist bursting into tears, the 3-minute video would surely stand a chance of winning an Oscar or two next week if it had been released a bit earlier.

First, we get police officers noticing a car performing extravagant, if inexpert, drifts on a snowy public highway in the Pļavnieki district of Rīga. The car in question loses control and stops. Smoke starts to billow from beneath the hood.

The trusty cops take the driver to safety, and ascertain that he is actually using his mother's car, a fact which somewhat undercuts his action hero credentials. Stallone and Schwarzenegger rarely used their mother's vehicles, and Steve McQueen never. 

The plot twists now come thick and fast. The car bursts into flames – all cars burst into flames at the end of a car chase – which in turn prompts a real scenery-chewing monologue by its former occupant.

He bursts into tears and starts wailing: "My beautiful car! Boo hoo!" and so on as Mom's car self-immolates spectacularly before his eyes. Lethal Weapon might have been greatly improved if Mel Gibson burst into tears every time a car exploded.

"Kill me along with the car... I loved it!" our anti-hero (not Mel Gibson) begs the police officers, who politely decline the invitation to commit homicide and even go so far as to offer him solace, pointing out that it is always possible to buy a new car, whereas of lives you have but one.

Despite the rather obvious fire hazard presented by a vehicle burning like a Roman candle just a few meters away, Baby Driver then requests a cigarette from the police officers who, once again, politely decline to join him in a moment of quiet remembrance for Mama's now-infernal BMW.

Sympathy for the wannabe Fast And Furious star wears out fairly quickly, as it seems increasingly obvious that his lachrymose lamentations and inept stunt driving may be the result of being more pickled than one of Mama's gherkins, i.e. well over the legal limit. Asked if he has been drinking, he admits that he has – but that he can't remember how much, which in the circumstances is probably not the smartest line that could have been delivered.

The over-emotional 20-year-old subsequently refused to take a breath test, thus ensuring the start of criminal proceedings. We look forward to the sequel in which he has to explain to Mama where her car is.

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